Between a (Very Big) Rock And a (Difficult, Scary) Hard Place

I can't sleep, so I'll write whats on my mind right now. It's basically me pouring out my sob-story so don't feel obligated to read this. I just wanna let the emotions out. It's pretty hard to convey through writing what has been going on in my life lately. But about a month ago, my mom and I got in a fight because she said something awful about my stepmom and I tried to give my opinion for the first time. This led to me being yelled at for an hour. I was unable to look away cuz I "was rolling my eyes". After the argument, she didn't come to talk to me, or  say good-night. She sent my stepsister to tell me to scoop the litterbox. I don't handle confrontation well, and chose to leave the tension. So now I've been staying at my dad's for nearly a month. I don't like people to see me cry. At all. The other day a leader at my church gave me her opinion, but noone there understands the way everything has gone my whole life. They weren't there for the whole ordeal. They just see a parent and a child. They say I'm the child so I should break the silence and be respectful. My reply was "but she's the mom". We have only talked on the phone 3 times and text ever so often. She should want to talk to me. My dad called her without my knowing, and she didn't want to have a meeting with me and all of my parents, so to me that was her final decision. Now I know that this should be what's getting upset, but it's anticipating Christmas/everything without my little brother Elijah. This Christmas, I'm so broke that I can't afford Christmas presents so I'm going to try to hand-make them. Tonight I started planning Elijah's gift, and I began imagining what I would write in his Christmas card. The main sentence that flashes through my mind is "don't forget me".